Grindr has long since removed the Ethnicity Filter from its app. Still, every day there are a handful of users who are still looking for it. The search log for this article includes “grindr bring back ethnicity filter”, ” dating apps that filter ethnicity” and even the somewhat questionable search term “race filter grindr”.
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| The Ethnicity filter on Grindr let you include/exclude profiles based on their ethnicity such as Black, White and Latino. |
In the same search log I also spotted one person who searched for “how to find generous guys on grindr”. Whoever you are – it is more likely that someone generous is a mature gentleman than a “guy” and no there is no way of searching for gentlemen with a solid bank account on Grindr. Sorry. Grindr doesn’t even allow the word “generous” in the profile text.
Back to the filter. Something which is in fact a technical feature of an app suddenly, in the midst of the BLM “uprising”, became controversial. And probably proved troublesome for Grindr.
Before all of this, I said hi to a guy on Grindr. He was clearly black but had his face obscured. I only wanted to say hi, wasn’t looking for a hookup – but I just got the curt reply “read profile” back. His profile read like an attack on everyone who contacts him just due to him being black. I was a bit taken aback by this. I didn’t know what he looked like, I didn’t even know if he was my type – even though he was black. To find him, I used the ethnicity filter on Grindr. Out of all the apps you can use to meet other gay people Grindr have pretty detailed filters. When looking for someone you could filter on not just age and height but also body type, position (bottom, vers, top)…and then there was “ethnicity” with its many options such as Latino, Black, South Asian, White and even Native American. Living in Europe I actually ticked the Native American box as a joke, thinking I would never see anyone with that background here – but lo and behold, a few months afterwards a very nice looking young guy with the most beautiful black hair popped up on my Grindr grid. We didn’t hit it off but I must admit it made me curious. Yes – there was something exotic about him and it only happened once. However – that tick box is not the controversial one. The Black tick box is. In fact it was not even controversial, it was infuriating to some people.
With ethnicity, you can’t win. There are black, brown and asian users who complain that they are being deliberately “filtered out”. Thrown to the bottom of the Grindr selection pile, never being considered. Then there are those who are “filtered in” – black guys approached by white guys who solely want black guys for their perceived large ding-dong size. Or Asian guys who are only after older white guys due to their perceived generosity and wealth. A black friend consistently got approached with questions about his ding-dong size, or whether he knew anywhere to buy weed (since he was black, and then obviously knows every dealer in town). It all feels kind of wrong but at the same time it reflects how we feel and perceive each other. The perception is difficult – being approached by someone just because of how your race is perceived does not feel nice.
The ethnicity filter has been there for over 10 years and in recent years subject to a lot of controversy and complaints. Following the recent Black Lives Matters protests, the complaints to Grindr escalated. Grindr bowed to pressure and committed to removing the filter, which they did shortly after. It remains to be seen if this is a permanent change, or if Grindr hopes they can reinstate it once the whole BLM thing blows over.
Why have the filter in the first place?
The ultra-woke dogma says that unless you are completely “colour blind”, you are racist. Looking for someone should not be about skin colour or ethnic background. Everyone deserves a look and a chance. Yet, it seems colour and background comes into the equation when we look for someone. That is where the problems start.
For those not familiar, the Grindr app displays profiles of users in a grid, or cascade as they call it, sorted by distance starting from top left. You can then apply a filter to only show profiles that fall within your preferences. Basic filters like age range and Looking For (Chat, Dates, Right Now etc.) are free but the more detailed filters require a paid subscription.
Grindr is like a virtual gay club. A place where mostly gay men, or “men who have sex with men” meet up for the purpose of everything from friendship to a hookup. If you have ever been to a gay venue you have probably observed that everyone has a preference, and gay people are pretty superficial. Some preferences are conscious, some are subconscious. Age, weight, height, appearance, behaviour – and yes also “ethnicity” comes into play when we hunt for our next partner. The debate rages on. Should we all be completely colour blind and give everyone a chance or is it more complex and we should “filter out” any ethnicity we don’t like? There is a parallel to the recent controversy over trans-activists claiming that the genitalia of a person should not matter and if you reject a lesbian transwoman who happens to still have a penis then you are transphobic. The sentiment for both ethnicity and transgender is that we are all equal, what ethnicity we have or what genitalia we have should not matter, it’s the person that matters. Translated to Grindr and other apps, ideally no profiles should have photos and minimal filtering. You browse and contact the profiles you like the sound of and the looks, gender and ethnicity of a person is secondary. Those who claim this have a point – all the dating apps are very visual and you only contact someone based on their appearance. In the real world, it’s often more about a connection than the appearance – I am sure you have heard of people meeting by chance and they felt there was a connection, a spark, which was secondary to appearance and other attributes.With ethnicity, you can’t win. There are black, brown and asian users who complain that they are being deliberately “filtered out”. Thrown to the bottom of the Grindr selection pile, never being considered. Then there are those who are “filtered in” – black guys approached by white guys who solely want black guys for their perceived large ding-dong size. Or Asian guys who are only after older white guys due to their perceived generosity and wealth. A black friend consistently got approached with questions about his ding-dong size, or whether he knew anywhere to buy weed (since he was black, and then obviously knows every dealer in town). It all feels kind of wrong but at the same time it reflects how we feel and perceive each other. The perception is difficult – being approached by someone just because of how your race is perceived does not feel nice.
I asked a young black man on Grindr about this. Even though the filter is now removed he still receives (mostly unwanted) attention just because of his skin colour. Is that right? He told me that “…I face a sense of disprect from people who aren’t black/of colour.” Ouch!
Interestingly the user also says that he is only looking for other black users because he feels a sense of belonging and can relate easier. So in that respect, removing the filter has made it worse for this guy who now has a much harder time finding what he wants.
Likely it was worse when the filter was in place since it was easier to find black users. I empathise – what if we flipped it around and I was approached just because of traits attributed to white people?
It’s also problematic when any user discounts any other skin colour other than their own on their profile, for example black guys openly saying they only want other black guys. Is that racist? Perhaps not. But it’s disappointing to be discounted just because of your white or brown skin. Yet there is also a more basic need; which I would define as attraction. Some guys are just attracted to the opposite skin colour. Some are only attracted to the same skin colour. That is why the filter was there in the first place. You could argue that you can learn to like or become attracted to a different ethnicity, but for most people I do not think that is feasible. I will leave that one up to the sexologists to debate though.
The Body Type Filter
Don’t also forget Grindr has other filters. Take the “Body Type” for example. There is Toned, Large, Slim…and there is weight. Is the weight filter fattist? Should it not all be about the person not their weight, or whether they are toned or slim? There is also the age filter. Should it be about the person, not their age? But as usual, the superficiality of the gay community shines through and it all boils down to the features of the other person that you are attracted to. Should you give an overweight person a chance? Yes – but if that turns you off – what do you do.
Skin colour bingo
Without a filter, you can’t easily work out who is similar to you. Some guys used the filter to get to know similar guys near them. Some minorities have expressed that they found this very useful, which I can imagine. The one group that will be adversely affected by this will be the “down-lows”. A somewhat disappointing manifestation of how being gay is still less accepted in black millieus than white, the down-lows are black men who have sex with other black men.
Careful not to describe themselves as gay, the term coming with a lot of baggage, they mostly just seek uncomplicated sex with other black guys, in a very discrete fashion. Very few have profile photos and those who do usually obscure their faces, terrified of being exposed. If this sounds more 1980 than 2020 you are right. Now that you can no longer include black in your filter and exclude anyone else it plunges these users into a bizarre skin colour bingo where you have to approach each and very person and ask if they are black – and many will likely now say that on their profile to signify who they are and what they are after. It also narrows the field of how many guys you can potentially meet. Here is why: You set filters to filter out an age group, perhaps Position and Weight. The resulting cascade will show you guys of all colours, with your filters applied. But Grindr only shows you a certain number of profiles (unless you have the highest level of subscription). Those guys who are black but furthest away from you will not appear in your cascade because there are so many other-coloured profiles in between them. Let’s say it displays 40 guys in total. In contrast if you applied Black as your ethnicity filter you would only see Black user profiles and it will display lots, up to the scrolling maximum 600 profiles. Perhaps not a big issue for some, but still.
Other apps – Romeo and Hornet
It’s worth noting that other apps also have these filters, in one way or another. Romeo probably takes the cake with its incredibly specific filters, including not just Ethnicity but also ding-dong size, circumcision and body hair. There are even filters for hair length, tattoos/piercings and fetishes.
“While just 5% (1,577) tick all ethnicities except one. 65% (22,723) use the feature to target their desired ethnicities, mostly not their own”Hornet also lets you filter by ethnicity but have fewer filters than Romeo and Grindr. Still, it’s there and none of them have attracted much controversy over so far – likely it’s because they have fewer users and are not as high profile as Grindr.
The Body Type Filter
Don’t also forget Grindr has other filters. Take the “Body Type” for example. There is Toned, Large, Slim…and there is weight. Is the weight filter fattist? Should it not all be about the person not their weight, or whether they are toned or slim? There is also the age filter. Should it be about the person, not their age? But as usual, the superficiality of the gay community shines through and it all boils down to the features of the other person that you are attracted to. Should you give an overweight person a chance? Yes – but if that turns you off – what do you do.
Skin colour bingo
Without a filter, you can’t easily work out who is similar to you. Some guys used the filter to get to know similar guys near them. Some minorities have expressed that they found this very useful, which I can imagine. The one group that will be adversely affected by this will be the “down-lows”. A somewhat disappointing manifestation of how being gay is still less accepted in black millieus than white, the down-lows are black men who have sex with other black men.
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| Not describing themselves as gay, some Grindr users are “DL (on the Down Low)” |
Other apps – Romeo and Hornet
It’s worth noting that other apps also have these filters, in one way or another. Romeo probably takes the cake with its incredibly specific filters, including not just Ethnicity but also ding-dong size, circumcision and body hair. There are even filters for hair length, tattoos/piercings and fetishes.
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| Romeo also has ethnicity filters…. |
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| ….but takes the cake with its very detailed filters such as hair length and fetishes. |
Interestingly, Romeo issued a statement where they detailed why they would not be removing the ethnicity filter from their app. According to this only a small percentage use the filter, and those who do use it to find someone of a different ethnicity (opposites attract, it seems!):
“While just 5% (1,577) tick all ethnicities except one. 65% (22,723) use the feature to target their desired ethnicities, mostly not their own”Hornet also lets you filter by ethnicity but have fewer filters than Romeo and Grindr. Still, it’s there and none of them have attracted much controversy over so far – likely it’s because they have fewer users and are not as high profile as Grindr.
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